too bad you live with your parents still
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
