Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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