Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
