Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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