I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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