Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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