pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I have post one night stand depression
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
