I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
