party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
