He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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