She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
you never un-have a 4some
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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