Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just threw up on my dentist
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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