In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
