dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
