oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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