But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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