People with herpes should wear stickers.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
