You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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