I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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