her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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