You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
