Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
