Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
