no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
