I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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