I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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