You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
