so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
