it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
