We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
