So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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