So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
