Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
