i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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