no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
