there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
