No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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