its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
