Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
