she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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