At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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