im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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