...so i touched it.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
