You were right. It hurts to walk today.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
