Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize