With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize