I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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