on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Four minutes until I can fart!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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