The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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