i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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