I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
