pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
