Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
