You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
