she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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