bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
