I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
