i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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