Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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