Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
