You're my little dorito
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
