I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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