Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
