So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
