Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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