Don't make out with my wife yet
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
