So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
