it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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