We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
