I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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