Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
