I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
